2023 - The 3 Sphincters (Back to Boyne)
Official Sphincter Videographer-Mike Constable
Official Sphincter Sound Engineer-Brian Gates Official Sphincter Roadie-Mark Donnelly |
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Mickeys Boys of Boyne
(To the tune : Hang on Sloopy)
Hang with Mickey, Mickeys Boys of Boyne,
The gangs all here, Mickeys Boys of Boyne, yea
Leaving for the States, here I come with the boys in tow
Headed down to Boyne, for some golfing we do go
The sun is shining, the sky is clear and blue
We're ready to conquer, this course, yea we know that’s true
Chorus:
Hang with Mickey, Mickeys Boys of Boyne,
The gangs all here, Mickeys Boys of Boyne, yea
With our clubs in hand we'll chase, those birdies away
A par or two would be nice, on this fine day
We’re Joking and laughing as we try, to take our swings
Living it up while we can, and doing our thing, yea
Hang with Mickey, Mickeys Boys of Boyne,
The gangs all here, Mickeys Boys of Boyne, yea
The wind is blowing, and the grass is lush and green
We've just hit a shot, the best you’ve ever seen
Our eyes on the prize, the green straight ahead
We'll dream of this shot as we lay upon our bed
Hang with Mickey, Mickeys Boys of Boyne,
The gangs all here Mickeys Boys of Boyne, yea
When the round is done, and the sun is setting low
We'll raise a glass to the friends that we’ve come to know
We're the boys of Boyne, and golf is our game
We'll be back next year to do it all again
Hang with Mickey, Mickeys Boys of Boyne,
The gang with Mickey, Mickeys Boys of Boyne, yea
Hang with Mickey, Mickeys Boys of Boyne,
The gang with Mickey, Mickeys Boys of Boyne, yea
(To the tune : Hang on Sloopy)
Hang with Mickey, Mickeys Boys of Boyne,
The gangs all here, Mickeys Boys of Boyne, yea
Leaving for the States, here I come with the boys in tow
Headed down to Boyne, for some golfing we do go
The sun is shining, the sky is clear and blue
We're ready to conquer, this course, yea we know that’s true
Chorus:
Hang with Mickey, Mickeys Boys of Boyne,
The gangs all here, Mickeys Boys of Boyne, yea
With our clubs in hand we'll chase, those birdies away
A par or two would be nice, on this fine day
We’re Joking and laughing as we try, to take our swings
Living it up while we can, and doing our thing, yea
Hang with Mickey, Mickeys Boys of Boyne,
The gangs all here, Mickeys Boys of Boyne, yea
The wind is blowing, and the grass is lush and green
We've just hit a shot, the best you’ve ever seen
Our eyes on the prize, the green straight ahead
We'll dream of this shot as we lay upon our bed
Hang with Mickey, Mickeys Boys of Boyne,
The gangs all here Mickeys Boys of Boyne, yea
When the round is done, and the sun is setting low
We'll raise a glass to the friends that we’ve come to know
We're the boys of Boyne, and golf is our game
We'll be back next year to do it all again
Hang with Mickey, Mickeys Boys of Boyne,
The gang with Mickey, Mickeys Boys of Boyne, yea
Hang with Mickey, Mickeys Boys of Boyne,
The gang with Mickey, Mickeys Boys of Boyne, yea
The 3 Sphincters ( and honorary hemorrhoid)
2022-Rocky Crest
Hotel Rocky Crest
To the tune: Hotel California
On a green pleasant fairway , cool wind in my hair
Fresh smell of the birch trees rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering flag
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
So I pulled a hybrid from my bag
There it stood in the fairway; I saw a towering elm
And I was thinking to myself
This could be heaven or this could be hell
So I closed both my eyes and just swung away
There were voices from the other guys
I thought I heard them say...
[Chorus]
Welcome to the Rocky Crest Resort Course
Such a lovely place, (such a lovely place), with a hard rock face
Plenty of room on the Rocky Crest fairways
Any time of year, (any time of year) If you have the right gear.
In the air my ball was twisted, It flew around the bend
Almost hit a few of the boys, Almost lost some of my friends
How they fled to the bushes, broke into a sweat
Some will always remember, some won’t let me forget
So I called up my captain; Frank bring me my wine
We haven't had that spirit here since 1969
and still those voices are calling from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...
[Chorus]
Welcome to the Rocky Crest Resort Course
Such a lovely place, (such a lovely place), with a big rock face
We’re golfing it up at the Rocky Crest Resort Course
What a nice surprise, (what a nice surprise) Bring your alibis
Now our games have all ended; there’s ameretto on ice
We are all just good friends here, of our own device
and in these hallowed chambers, we gather for the feast
We sing and drink and have a good time
All our cares released.
Welcome to the Rocky Crest Resort Course
Such a lovely place, (such a lovely place), with a big rock face
We’re golfing it up at the Rocky Crest Resort Course
What a nice surprise, (what a nice surprise) time to say, bye bye
To the tune: Hotel California
On a green pleasant fairway , cool wind in my hair
Fresh smell of the birch trees rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering flag
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
So I pulled a hybrid from my bag
There it stood in the fairway; I saw a towering elm
And I was thinking to myself
This could be heaven or this could be hell
So I closed both my eyes and just swung away
There were voices from the other guys
I thought I heard them say...
[Chorus]
Welcome to the Rocky Crest Resort Course
Such a lovely place, (such a lovely place), with a hard rock face
Plenty of room on the Rocky Crest fairways
Any time of year, (any time of year) If you have the right gear.
In the air my ball was twisted, It flew around the bend
Almost hit a few of the boys, Almost lost some of my friends
How they fled to the bushes, broke into a sweat
Some will always remember, some won’t let me forget
So I called up my captain; Frank bring me my wine
We haven't had that spirit here since 1969
and still those voices are calling from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...
[Chorus]
Welcome to the Rocky Crest Resort Course
Such a lovely place, (such a lovely place), with a big rock face
We’re golfing it up at the Rocky Crest Resort Course
What a nice surprise, (what a nice surprise) Bring your alibis
Now our games have all ended; there’s ameretto on ice
We are all just good friends here, of our own device
and in these hallowed chambers, we gather for the feast
We sing and drink and have a good time
All our cares released.
Welcome to the Rocky Crest Resort Course
Such a lovely place, (such a lovely place), with a big rock face
We’re golfing it up at the Rocky Crest Resort Course
What a nice surprise, (what a nice surprise) time to say, bye bye
2019 - The 3 Sphincters
My Hybrid Calloway
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Last Kiss
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It's now or never, let me grip you tight
Hit you my hybrid, with all my might The next shot will be too late, it's now or never This drive can’t wait. When I first saw you with your shaft so slender Your head was just right and my soul surrendered I'd spent too much time waiting for the right time But in this shrub, you are the right club, at last. It's now or never, let me grip you tight Hit you my hybrid , with all my might Tomorrow will be too late, it's now or never This shot can’t wait. And in my dreams, I’m always first to play Because of you dear, my hybrid Calloway Your grooves excite me, let your head delight me For who knows when, I’ll swing again ,this way. It's now or never, let me grip you tight Hit you my hybrid with all my might Tomorrow will be too late, it's now or never This shot won't wait. It's now or never This shot won't wait. (repeat) HallelujahWell I've heard there was a secret hole,
If you drove it straight your ball would role But you don't want just a par now, do ya? You hit it once, you hit it twice, A birdie is yours if you hit it nice, you sink your put while singing Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelu------jah Your swing was strong but you needed proof, As your ball flew up over the roof Of the beer Cart Girl that stood just before ya, She gave you a drink and a skeptical stare , As you hit your ball in the air And from her lips she sang out hallelujah, Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelu------jah |
Oh where, oh where can my golf ball be? The Lord took it away from me
It’s in the trees and I am so sad, cuz it’s the best golf ball that I ever had. We were out on the links in my favourite cart, I hadn't driven it very far There in the fairway, straight ahead, a bunker was waiting, I knew I was dead I tried to miss it, so I sliced to the right, I’ll never forget the sound that night The screaming birds, the busted branch, the painful scream that I let blast. Oh where, oh where can my golf ball be? The Lord took it away from me It’s in the trees and I am so sad, cuz it’s the best golf ball that I ever had. When I looked up, the rain was pouring down, the other guys standing all around Something warm going down my pants, I couldn’t stop I was in a trance I lifted my head, they looked at me and said: It’s ok it’s just a little white ball So I waved goodbye, I kissed her my last kiss, I'd lost the ball that I knew I had missed Well, now she's gone, even though she’s out of sight, I lost my ball, my favourite ball that night Oh where, oh where can my golf ball be? The Lord took her away from me It’s in the trees and I am so sad, cuz it’s the best golf ball that I ever had. Ooo-o-o-o-oooh, ooo-o-o-o-o-o-oh Ooo-o-o-o-oooh, ooo-o-o-o-o-o-oh Ooo-o-o-o-oooh, ooo-o-o-o-o-o-oh |
2018 - The 2 Sphincters (Missing One Again)
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File Type: | docx |
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2016 - The 3 Sphincters (Missing one)
Stormin' NormanTo the tune: Lady Madonna by The Beatles
Performed by: the Three Sphincters May 25, 2016 Guitar INTRO: Stormin' Norman The best we've ever had He's not that pretty But he sure can add! Stormin' Norman No one can compare When he started out doing this He still had hair. CHORUS: Sunday night our games have just ended By Monday morning scoring's all done Tuesday's games have all been amended And now the Ryder cup has begun Stormin Norman, you are the best wonder how you manage to get some rest? Guitar part CHORUS: Sandbaggen scores never ending.. Ryder teams both on the run By Wednesday night Norman needs tending But we're all out of rum Stormin Norman lying on the bed.. Dreaming bout the figures dancing in his head. Stormin' Norman The best we've ever had He's not that pretty But he can add |
The Fifty Ways to Lose your PutterSung to the tune: 50 ways to lose your lover by Paul Simon
Performed by: the Three Sphincters May 25, 2016 Lyrics by: Plummer Left Sphincter Palumbo The problem is all inside your head he said to me The answer is easy if you take it logically I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free. There must be - fifty ways to lose your putter. You know it's really not my habit to intrude, I hope my meaning won't be lost or miss-construed, But I'll repeat myself, at the risk of being crude. There must be - fifty ways to lose your putter Fifty ways to lose your putter. Just throw it out back Jack, stick it up a moose Bruce No need to be tricky Mickey, just listen to me Wait for a storm, Norm don't have to be forlorn Feed it to the shark Mark, and set yourself free Stick it up a swan John, give it to a pal, Kal Don't have to be Confucius, Lucius just listen to me If I were you Donnelly I'd kick it horizontally Just wait for a blizzard Richard, and set yourself free You know it grieves me so to see you in such pain I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again Revenge is easy if you'll let me just explain 'Bout the fifty ways" to lose your putter I said "why don't we just sleep on it tonight, And I believe that in the morning you'll begin to see the light." The boys agreed with me that probably I was right, There must be - fifty ways to lose your putter Fifty ways to lose your putter Just give it a swift kick Rick , makes a nice bike Mike No need to go loco Coco, just listen to me Drown it in piss Chris, don't need to discuss this Makes a nice wreath Keith, just set yourself free Drown it in a tank, Frank, throw it through a wall, Paul Don't have to dislodge her Roger, just listen to me. Stick it up a hen Glen, find a cemetery, Gerry No need to be cryin, Brian just set yourself free. Just throw it out back Jack, stick it up a moose Bruce No need to be tricky Mickey, just listen to me Wait for a storm, Norm don't have to be forlorn Feed it to the shark Mark, and set yourself free Stick it up a swan John, give it to a pal, Kal Don't have to be Confucius, Lucius just listen to me If I were you Donnelly I'd kick it horizontally Just wait for a blizzard Richard, and set yourself free |
Mickey BruNelleyTo the tune: The Mickey Mouse Club March
Lyrics by: Plummer left sphincter Palumbo Performed by: the Three Sphincters May 25, 2016 Who's the leader of our group That's just for you and me M-I-C-K-E-Y B-R -U-Nelly And every spring we come together We're as welcome as can be M-I-C-K-E-Y B-R -U-Nelly Mickey Mouse (Donald Duck) Mickey Mouse (Donald Duck) Forever let us hold our golf clubs high (high, high, high!) Come along and sing this song And join the comradery M-I-C-K-E-Y B-R -U-Nelly [Ending theme, much slower:] Now it's time to say goodbye To all our company M-I-C, See you real soon K-E-Y, Why? Because we like you B-R -U-NELLY |
My Beer Cart GirlTo the tune:Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison
Lyrics: Plummer Left Sphincter Palumbo Performed by The Three Sphincters on May 25, 2016 Hey where did we go, Days when the rains came Down in the Heather, Playing our golf game, Swinging and a' pitching hey, hey Chipping and a' putting too In the misty morning fog with Our hearts a thumpin' and you Our beer cart girl, You our beer cart girl. Whatever happened to Our swings they are so slow Pain Going down through our spine Landing in our left big toe Your Standing in the sunlight laughing, Hiding behind your cart window Mixing and a pouring Refreshments to soothe our soul, its you Our beer cart girl, You you you our beer cart girl. Do you remember when we used to sing, Sha la la la la la la la la la la tee da Sha la la la la la la la la la la tee da La te |
The Donald J. Ross |
My Lost Putting Stroke |
Sung to the tune: House of the Rising Sun
Lyrics: Mark the Left Sphincter Palumbo Performed by : The Three Sphincters There is a course in Boyne Highlands
They call the Donald J. Ross And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy I know, cuz there I have lost My partner he was a good man Until we played best ball Onto the Royal Dornock we came It was there I knew we would fall He took a mighty swing, right there The ball it sailed on through Turned to the left and fell from the sky Into the Royal fescue. We searched and searched and searched some more The ball we could not find But needles and spurs, there were plenty around Most stuck in our behind. So another ball he placed on the ground Another stroke he took Another ball found another mound Time for another look. My partner took his last ball from the bag He wanted to kill that sucker The ball sailed high but hooked to the left As he yelled " adiós mother f--- er. Without a word he walked away Into the bush he fled This was the last game of golf he would play He took up knitting instead So the moral of this story, my friend Is to keep your cool at all cost When your playing golf at Boyne Highlands Just skip the Donald J Ross |
To the tune : Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffett
As performed By the Three Sphincters Lyrics: Plummer Left Sphincter Palumbo Putting on fast greens
I'm covered in sunscreen and wearing all of my fancy Bright clothes. Pull out my putter I begin to stutter For this putt I would sure hate to blow I'm Putting again in Boyne Highlands Searching for my lost putting stroke Some people claim that there's a putter to blame but I know, that it's nobody's fault Don't know the reason I've putted poor all season Nothin to show but another three putt But my putters a beauty a Scottie Cameron cutie cost me an arm, And most of my butt I'm Putting again in Boyne Highlands Searching for my lost putting stroke Some people claim that there's a putter to blame but I know, hell it could be my fault I blew out my left heel my fingers I can't feel lots of excuses for missing that hole But there's booze in my golf cart and soon it will impart That Smooth and warm feeling that helps soothe my soul. I'm Putting again in Boyne Highlands Searching for my lost putting stroke Some people claim that there's a putter to blame but I know, that it's my own damn fault Yea Some people claim that there's a putter to blame but I know, that it's my own damn faultI blew out my left heel my fingers I can't feel lots of excuses for missing that hole But there's booze in my golf cart and soon it will impart That Smooth and warm feeling that helps soothe my soul. |
Friends in Golf Places - by the 3 Sphincters - May 20th, 2015
Sung to the tune by Garth Brooks "Friends in Low Places"
Sphincter #1 - Mark Palumbo - lyrics & on guitar Sphincter #2 - Lucio Fabris - vocals & musical arrangement Sphincter #3 - Mike Dupont on guitar
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Friends in Golf Places:
Blame it all on the sun
My heart has begun To beat fast right in to my groin My hands start to sweat My foreheads all wet Cuz, soon were all back in Boyne The boys have all come It's time to have fun So let the party begin Forget all the pain Bring out the champagne And turn that frown to a grin Cuz, we've got friends in golf places Where the pars go down and the birdies chase Our blues away Even boogies are ok. Well we're not big on social graces We pee in the bushes and open spaces Yea we've got friends In golf places Oh we used to play Till the end of the day 36 holes at a time but now we have trouble Cus we're not as supple But boy we know how to whine. So we take our pain killers And the best from distillers And soon all will be well We get on the tee Swing long and free It's time to go vie Em hell |
Cuz, we've got friends in golf places
Where the pars go down and the birdies chase Our blues away even boogies are ok. yea we're not big on social graces We pee in the bushes and open spaces Yea we've got friends in golf places Oh we play just for fun Till the Ryder's begun Then it's team vs. team till the end It's red against blue and me against you But still we end up as friends And the losing team, don't cause a big scene They drink up and empty their glass Then turn to the other, put down their mother And tell them to kiss our sweet ass Cuz, we've got friends in golf places Where the pars go down and the birdies chase Our blues away Even boogies are ok. Yea we're not big on social graces We pee in the bushes and open spaces Yea we've got friends In golf places Yea we got friends In golf places. |
Those Were the Days - by The 3 Sphincters
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